To My God Who delights in unholy vessels

If I tell you controversial things, things which seem dark, or a failure to someone who claims to be a Christian, it is only because I am trying to get you to see something much deeper. You see, I know my depravity, though at times, we do under estimate the potential of our depravity, nevertheless, I know my depravity goes beyond what I can imagine. I have done things in my life that I cannot believe I would stoop to. However, as bad as that is, I know the human potential for egregious sin, is bigger than even my worst deeds. At the very same time, I am certain that God foresees our most evil atrocities, allows them to happen with repercussions, then, in most cases brings us through it, ultimately forgiving us. I open my life to you, to give you hope, and a reason why we should be candid, when possible. The human being, is terribly dangerous. A cat knows it's a cat, and a bird knows it's supposed to sing, yet mankind, who is God's smartest creature on Earth, will pay a psychiatrist thousands of dollars to sit down and tell him who he is, and why he is here. You see, a cat is programmed. The instinct of a bird, and the program God placed in a bird, keeps the bird in a life of bird boundaries. But God did not program a human! He gave you the freewill to write your own program! Some people seek drugs and alcohol. Some seek riches and fame. Humanity is driven to fill the void that only can be filled with God. Humans are free, made without a program, and therefore the most dangerous animals on the planet. It is a human proclivity to think that you are everything, you are even God, and life revolves all around you. But the Bible, as well as society, tell us that servant hood is greater than being served (Mk. 10:44-45). As much as I could desire to be freed from these shackles of sin, I cannot. It is not because I am far from God that I am sinful, it is because I am so close to His purity, to His holiness, to His immutable absoluteness, that in contrast, I can see my need for a Savior, for I am a wretched, and sinful human being. Yet, God is so good, and His Grace will always surprise you, by its magnitude. When I was younger, I was the terror of my neighborhood, many times. By the time I reached my 30's, I had accumulated over $30,000 that my mother had paid in my behalf, either in fines, other police matters, or in failure to pay a house note, or a car note, and stuff. Many years had went by, and I had even been saved in Christ, but then my mom died. She had always kept books in her desk as to what I owed her. The day came that we were to go to her house and get the final few things that were in the house. I scurried to that desk, looking for the list of what I owed my mom, in hopes that no one would see it. IT WAS GONE! Then in a moment, God reminded me of how He saved me in Leavenworth, and I know a miracle had taken place. I leave you today with a hope that you will always be self-culpable for your prolific sin nature. I think it is very dangerous for anyone to claim they only sin a little. I don't buy that at all! My sin put Jesus on the cross! That is no trivial or cavalier matter! Be culpable, and be obedient when God grants you that power. In the end, the price He paid, will be sufficient for all your wrong turns in life. God bless you! brian†craig